I Will Never Crochet A …

By Rachel Choi – 38 Comments
… toilet seat cover! That’s my answer, what is yours?

As much as I love to crochet and I bet you do too, there has to be something that you don’t think you will ever want to crochet. For me it is a toilet seat cover. I know there are plenty of crochet patterns for toilet seat covers and many people do crochet them. You can even buy toilet seat covers in the store. But personally, I just don’t get the point of them (crocheted or not). I like my toilet seat just the way it is, without a cover.

What item will you never crochet?

crochet toilet seat cover

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  1. Vicki says:

    I will never crochet a bed doll! Those things are creepy.

  2. Lorelei says:

    I will never crochet any type of TP-roll cozy/hider. I have never understood those – especially the ones that look like dolls and the TP roll is hidden under the doll’s skirt. I am not a fan of crochet in the bathroom – unless it’s a washcloth or scrubbie.

  3. Jessi says:

    I will never crochet any kind of dress for a non-doll, non-human item. Like dishsoap. Why does my dishsoap need a dress?

  4. Tabitha says:

    I’m with you on the toilet seat cover! I also agree on the TP cozy–TP doesn’t need cozi-ing! I’d be hard pressed to consider a crocheted wedding dress too.

  5. Sydni says:

    I totally agree with you on the toilet seat cover. I mean who would even want one, cause I know I wouldn’t.I will never crochet a voodoo doll. Don’t you just think that it would be bad luck.

  6. Sandy says:

    I will never crochet a toilet. ๐Ÿ˜€

    And its been done. Some artist named Nathan Vincent was on Martha Stewart about a year ago, showing off his crocheted “art”.

    I would rather crochet a toilet cover….and there is one made of thread that is just beautiful and I want to try. And I also make bed dolls…..uncreepy ones. ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. Never ever that urinal you posted. But also never the TP hiders. Dust catchers.

  8. Angie says:

    I will never crochet any type of TP-roll cozy/hider, tissue box OR Toilet seat cover – Why does your TP, tissue’s or toilet need to hide anyways????

  9. Christina says:

    I would never crochet a sweater or anything with sleeves…..

  10. Monique says:

    I will never crochet fridgie..or ami food – I really don’t see the point. Also with you on the loo paper covers.

  11. Deb says:

    I will never crochet a clown.

  12. Bananas says:

    I will never crochet a tampon-not even for laughs. I would try everything else except for the clown I don’t like clowns

  13. I agree with you…no ‘toilet sweaters’! ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. melissa says:

    LOL! That comment on the “toilet sweater” is dead on! I’ve always had an aversion to those and feel they make the bathroom seem germier.I will never crochet an item using freeform crochet; I just don’t like it.

  15. Rachael says:

    I will never (again) crochet a sock. I tried around christmas time and just because the hook was so small and the stitches were so tight I would crochet for an hour and get no where. It was too much effort and required too much patience for something I can buy pretty cheap.

  16. Lillibet says:

    Well I would never crochet any witches or socks other than that i would crochet all pretties..
    I am one that Does crochet bathroom tankcover sets and toilet lid covers and bathroom decorations even tp covers why???? well becuase they make the bathrooms more cheerful and the spare TP cover are just that rather than having a roll of tp uncovered i rather cover it with something pretty and yet still know its there if some one decides to use the last bit and not replace it…

    I rather crochet my the bathroom decorations than going out and spending money buying some.

    Fridgies yes i love them tooo they cheer up them plain walls on the fridgies…


  17. Cyndy says:

    I will never crochet a cover for my gas grill! But how about a crocheted cover for the TV?!

  18. Hannah Truelson says:

    I will never crochet a swimsuit. Those are really weird. I will also never crochet a toilet seat, it’s kind of a waste of yarn…..

  19. Bethintx1 says:

    I will never crochet a bikini…for many reasons…of the other items mentioned, I have made several, but I also will never crochet a urinal or a toilet…or a dress for my dish soap. Probably never a bed doll….simply because my dear husband would not appreciate a doll on the bed.

    The next question should be what is the most unusual thing you ever crocheted?

    I made a nose cozy/warmer. It was a super funny gag-gift!

  20. Joanne says:

    I agree, I will never crochet a toilet seat cover!! I will also never crochet a contour rug
    that goes around the toilet!! Talk about the Male species in my house it is always hit or miss!!
    My sister-in-law has four boys!! When they were young she painted a sign and put it above
    the toilet: I aim to please, you aim too please!! I also will never crochet clothing for my
    daughter because she is too fussy and wears what I crochet only once!!

  21. Metta says:

    I’ve warned my friends and family that if I ever crochet a toilet roll cover or tissue box cover, to please have me put down. To me, that is a perfectly legitimate reason for euthanasia.

  22. Shirley says:

    Here’s my list of I would never crochet….
    A urinal
    crocheted toilet covers, tp covers, almost anything that covers something.
    anything you don’t wear on top of your underwear
    dolls with plastic heads
    I’m with Bananas on the tampon or anything like that.
    The jury is still out on doilies.
    And crocheted knick knacks just hasn’t gotten my attention at this point.
    and finally forgive me on this one. Plarn. I will not do plarn.

  23. m says:

    Yep, I’m with most of you on this one. No toilet seat cover, no TP covers or other object skirts, no bikinis, no bed doll. Well, no bed doll that looks like a human, anyway. I might do a squid or octopus, come to think of it…

    @Metta: I love it. I think I’ll tell my family the same thing…

  24. Heidi says:

    A tea cozy~ There were so many gawd awful ones in the 70’s I just won’t do it!

  25. Sandy says:

    All of the above, plus never again an afghan in the Texas summer, or any time an amigurumi with all those little pieces.
    I did make a tampon (for laughs) it had my granddaughters rolling on the floor! Sandy

  26. Sandy says:

    Re the nose warmer/cozy… I made a slightly longer one to be worn farther south, in my grandson’s high school colors. It was the hit of the football locker room. There was even a little tassel on the end. Sandy

  27. Hana says:

    I wouldn’t make a bikini that I have seen several patterns or photos of. First, I don’t wear them, second if I did, even though not sew-talented, I would only wear or give one that is sewed with fabric, not crocheted with yarn.

  28. kathy says:

    I have crocheted and sold so many tp covers and tissue covers, people love them. I’ve been doing bazaars for 30 yrs now, and they are some of my best sellers, I guess, for the ones that wouldn’t,….. you just haven’t seen the right pattern yet.

  29. Deb says:

    A bedspread or tablecloth in thread. OOOHHHH NOOOO!!!

    As for the other items, I can see your point, except for Heidi, I LOVE tea cozies, maybe since I love tea pots and actually use them??

    Oh well..as long as you’re crocheting something!

  30. Bonnie says:

    Back in the 60’s (oops, dating myself here), gals were crocheting covers for their boyfriend’s private. I WILL NEVER crochet one of those. Enough said. Love your web site and blog.

  31. Danyel says:

    I will never crochet a bedspread, or a doll, or any kind of “cozy” other than a can cozy or a soap saver.

  32. Back in the 80’s when my father had prostate cancer, he had the choice of taking female hormones daily or having his testicles removed. Since he was in his 80s he chose the latter, though he was very depressed about it. Well, I crocheted him a set…very lifelike, too, I must say! they had a little chain stitched string which could be tied around the remaining naughty bit. When I gave them to him, I told him that since he missed them so much, I made him a pair! He cracked up and showed them to every hospital worker who came into his room for any reason! They all loved it! I’ve always believed the old slogan, “if you get dealt lemons, make lemonaide!”

  33. ATaubin says:

    I will never crochet one of those plastic bag holder dolls. I mean, seriously…. you are shoving bags up her rear, and then pulling them out. Weird.

  34. Mia says:

    Metta, I laughed so much at your crocheted gift for your Dad!!!

    For me, I will not crochet:
    – antyhing related to the toilet
    – doilies (sorry, they show up the dust too much)
    – teapot cosies (they gave crochet a bad name!)
    – baby clothes in vile, garish plastic-looking acrylic yarn

  35. Crafty grandma says:

    Back in the ’80’s I used to have a toilet seat cover until the lid fell on my son’s…. (and who was about 4 at the time). It scared him so much I had to remove it along with the TP cover which was a hat (go figure)!!! I will not crochet men’s shorts or ladies for that matter or skimpy halter tops! Love the comments…it made me laugh on this rather very hot humid day!

  36. Patricia says:

    I will probably crochet a sweater for the house with cut-outs for the windows-But I sure would like to see one sometime! ๐Ÿ˜€

  37. Patricia says:

    I bet it’d help with the heating bill.

  38. Patricia says:

    Oops. I meant to say that I would probably NEVER crochet a house sweater, lol ๐Ÿ™‚

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