Deranged or Dedicated?By Veronica Smith – 30 Comments
How far would YOU go to get some yarn, and I don’t mean distance?
I am now officially something…. not sure what though, I could be totally deranged, insane, fixated, total idiot, obsessed, possessed or maybe on a more positive note simply dedicated to my crochet. How have I come to this conclusion?
I really, truly hope that you cannot relate in any way to this story because it is really, really embarrassing. The only reason I am sharing this with you is because we will never meet. I am in Australia and I don’t think there are many Australians on this site, also my address in not published. Just a side note – I am really quite bright, I manage a hubby, house, children, animals and have a degree. This story I do not believe, and hope isn’t, a normal episode in my life.
I found some 100% cotton yarn that was perfect for my intended project for my mum. The shop did do mail order however I wanted to view the goods before I paid for it as it wasn’t overly cheap and I needed to match one of the colors to something. My traveling time was going to be approximately 1 hour each way plus I had allowed for 30 minutes at the shop. Any longer there I would purchase too many other things. I needed to stick to my timeline as I had other commitments. Once my timing was worked out here’s how things happened. At his point I need to mention that I was wearing jeans and a synthetic top that was long – you know those almost ‘mini dress’ type things – this information is important.
HOW MY TRIP PROGRESSED:
- I filled the drinking bottles up with water to put in the car as I always seem thirsty when I’m driving.
- I then drove for about 40 minutes and grabbed a water bottle to have a drink.
- This is when it became horribly apparent that the top of water bottle was not screwed on properly and water poured swiftly over me. It saturated my top and my jeans. There was so much water that it was actually soaking down under me. I truly felt like I had wet my pants – and I looked like I had.
- I pulled into a gas station and proceeded to slink in. My top didn’t look wet although it was drenched but it’s black an synthetic and hid the fact well. My light blue denim jeans however were definite proof that I had wet myself – down to my knees.
- Once inside I discovered the bathroom hand dryer was in the area before the toilet so I could not lock the door to dry myself. I quickly retreated back to the car. Mental note to never to go there ever again.
- Undeterred, cold and soggy I continued on TOWARD the yarn shop, I hadn’t really considered going home and abandoning my yarn hunt (this is where I should have started questioning my sanity)
- I found a McDonald’s. I realized that they have handicap toilet shalls and the dryer and I would be safely locked in together in privacy.
- My daughter’s dancing bag was in my car and I remembered it had some long bike pants in it. I am 45 and bike pants really are not something I should wear in public.
- I parked the car, went to the car and fetched the pants that were a size too small, however they are cotton Lycra so they are stretchy. I hid the pants in a shopping bag. Once again reality should have reared its ugly head.
- Slinking through the McDonald’s parking lot and in through the patrons eating their burgers and fries I managed to dive into the handicap toilet stall.
- Off with the clothes. With the assistance of an overworked hand dryer my top dried lovely and quick because it was synthetic. The jeans were never going to dry, so I put on the very unflattering bike pants over my still damp underwear. I felt truly horrible. I placed the wet jeans in my shopping bag. Fortunately my top was long. Not long enough to hide all the horror of me in cotton Lycra pants that only came down to just below my knees. My legs were shaved though so something was going right.
- I purchased a coffee that I didn’t really want on the way out because I felt guilty just using their facilities.
- I went to the car and put the coffee on the roof so I could organize myself to unlock it. It is key-less entry but my keys were hiding in my bag. I unlocked the car, however didn’t open a door yet because at this stage I had the bright idea to put the soggy jeans in the trunk.
- I opened the trunk and put the bag containing the soggy jeans in it. While preforming this rather simple task I dropped my handbag, including car keys into the trunk and slammed it shut. My car self locks if I don’t open a door quickly, however I did managed to dive around the side and open a back door – disaster averted.
- I then opened the trunk from inside the car and retrieved my handbag and car keys. All is good again – apart from the wet underwear and new fashion statement.
- I placed several shopping bags on the driver’s seat that was saturated in the hopes that it would save me from soaking it all up as I sat.
- I shut the trunk and began to drive off.
- As I was pulling out of the car’s spot I noticed my back door was not shut correctly so I was looking for a convenient place to pull over and rectify the situation. A man was waving frantically at me and I wound down the window, thanked him and said that I had just noticed that the door was open and I made some flippant remark about it being “one of those days”.
- The lovely man burst out laughing and said that he didn’t really care about the door being open but I should really rescue the coffee on the roof.
… I made it to the yarn shop. I have the correct yarn to make my mum a gift. The colors are right however I am not sure if my brain is.
How badly do you want a specific yarn?
Has your yarn obsession finally made you into an inept yarn stalker or is it just me?