Dear Husband is Out of Action and My Crochet is Suffering

By Veronica Smith – 19 Comments

My Husband is a gym junkie and a typical male. About 3 weeks ago he came home on a Friday (gym day) and said he was sore around the shoulders, not the ‘good’ sore from a good workout, it was actual pain. He goes to the gym 3 times a week. I suggested he have a bit of a break, but he’s male so that didn’t make any sense to him. He then came home the following Monday really sore and by bedtime he was definitely in REAL pain. He popped a large amount of pain killers and acknowledged that maybe he wouldn’t go to the gym Wednesday – I gave up. No sleep that night. By morning he was crippled with pain on the right side back/shoulder and upper arm. His lower arm and hand were numb. Doctors / physio’s / serious pain medication and pending specialist he is still hurting and has numb fingers and arm. It’s been 12 days now.

What’s this go to do with crochet? Apparently everything. I am so out of routine here it is not funny. Not that he contributes around the house ever – he works, brings in the money and does the big maintenance outside. He does get coffee and manages to amuse himself but not with TV. I do the rest of the household stuff – it works well apart from the fact that I am allergic to housework. He is now disrupting my day and I can’t settle to anything. Not that I blame him, I am really worried and it is a horrible situation but the household is all upside down. He’s in pain and he is irritable and bored stupid in front of the TV for 12 days – and little to no sleep. I also have had little to no sleep so that’s probably not helping things.

I have my crochet near my chair and I do pick it up but I cannot concentrate. I am trying to spend time with him and he keeps calling me in to sit with him, however I cannot sit in front of TV for that long – who knew? I thought sitting and watching a good movie and crocheting would be my dream day, possibly would be if it wasn’t forced upon me.

I am up now. It is 5:30am on a Saturday, my sleep in day. I am up because I simply cannot get to sleep after waking at 4. It would be a good time to sleep as he is finally asleep and the kids are still unconscious. I tried crocheting but even on my own it didn’t work. Maybe it’s because I am so tired, maybe it is because I am all out of order, my grip or organization is tenuous at the best of time but now it is gone completely.

I think I am going to put away all that I have out and get something frivolous. At the moment the crochet I have out is the Christmas and birthday presents and associated requests – sort of the ‘have to’ stuff.

Crochet has always been my refuge, my relaxation ‘pill’, my joy. Where did that go? I am hoping if I just grab something that I don’t have to do it will be more pleasurable.

…So I am off to put a coffee on then venture up to the craft room and grab the first pretty ball I see and make something out of it, who knows, it might be my finest work yet. Also I will sit anywhere but where the TV is located.

Wish me luck – I am sure the man of the house will get better, return to the gym soon, and I will be on my way to justifying all the time I crochet because I love it!!!!!

Temporary disability – just as his is.

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  1. heather says:

    I get so out of sorts when my hubby is home! I miss him like crazy but then when he’s home on a weird day things just are not normal around here! Hope you are both back to normal and that he is feeling MUCH better very soon!

  2. Tacia says:

    I understand your feelings of not wanting to crochet because of having your husband in the house all the time and needing you. I also find that I don’t want to crochet when it is stuff that I have to do because it just becomes job or chore in my mind. A suggestion to help your husband is to take him to a chiropractor or to get a neck and shoulder massage just make sure that they are really good and know what they are doing. Make sure to read reviews before taking him. I also suggest that you find a room away from everyone and give yourself anywhere from 15 mins to 30 mins of alone time to work on your crochet projects. Hope this helps. Keep smiling you will get through it. 🙂

  3. Nancy says:

    I bet your husband has a ruptured disc in his neck or upper spine. I had the same thing and it took the Dr’s 1 month before they would do an MRI on me. My husband had to take total care of me because I was in so much pain and also wacked out on pain meds. Insist on an MRI. He will feel better really fast after surgery.

  4. Bananas says:

    rent him a hotel room, my hubbie is about to retire and I have no idea what I’m gonna do with him home

  5. Ika Masume says:

    The exact same thing happened to my mom. He needs an MRI. He probably has a disk problem.

  6. Jessi says:

    You really should get your husband to a good Chiropractor. It will do a world of wonders!

  7. Lane† says:

    Veronica, I’m so sorry to hear about your husband! I will be keeping both of you in my prayers!

  8. Sallie says:

    Men do NOT belong is the Woman’s Cave! 🙂

  9. Crafty grandma says:

    LOL!! Due to my company being sold, I was ‘forced’ into early retirement. It worked out as my mom was ill and I was able to care for her. Six months later she passed away and I was stuck at home packing her things and our things ( we lived upstairs to her in a duplex) and looking for a house. When our house was finished and we moved, I was happy to unpack in my new surrounding taking the dog for long walks (we moved from the city to the country). A month later hubby decided it was best to take early retirement. (the travelling and traffic was horrible) Horrors!!! After being married 35 years I couldn’t stand being home with him. As a retirement gift the kids bought me a laptop and my husband a set of golf clubs. That summer he was always on the golf course, me of course on my laptop. Winter came, it was rough and he quickly got fed up of watching tv….so I showed him how to play ‘golf’ on the old computer. Now he lives in the basement and plays virtual golf!! Get ready winter is quickly approaching….the thing with retirement, you both have to have some interests. We do go bowling once a week. I never thought I would say this but you can only shop so much – travelling is out as we have a cat and dog that are like our sons to us…..Your hubby being home is just an early taste of retirement….and he is in pain which is even worse – you should encourage to acquire some interests before even if he is only retiring in 20 years! Summer is much easier as there is golf and the sun and picnics in the back…..To keep your sanity I recommend long walks alone!! good for the soul!!! Let’s pray for a speedy recovery..

  10. Sandy says:

    I retired to take care of my husband, in two months he had to be moved to a nursing home. I took up crochet to save my sanity…my first projects were simply awful! Six months of sitting beside his bed, I crocheted a good looking shawl and a huge baby blanket with lots of little animals. Crochet saved my sanity again when he died. Now, two years later it is still my every day pleasure!

  11. Jumasto says:

    My husband retired on a disability 11 years before I retired, so he’s used to being on his own and doing his own thing. I’m fortunate in that I can sew, crochet, bake, shop, etc. without a peep out of him. He has a TV in his room, and when he’s sick he pretty much stays there. All he asks of me is that I make him a cup of tea once in a while.
    I hope you get your equilibrium back, and that your husband recovers quickly.

  12. Biotechy2k says:

    I hope your hubby feels much better soon for your and his sake as well having many back injuries and various broken bones his symptoms sound like a definite pinched nerve in the neck (according to the tingling in the arms) one of the best suggestions my Physio at the Uni helped me with is good old gentle swimming (Not Laps) but the displacement of his body in the water takes all the weight bearing I spent many times in a wheel chair and on crutches being told you wont be able to walk or ride horses again without some mobility aids (so I got into hydro therapy in a big way) started off just with walking in the shallow end of the pool before doing gentle breast stroke this is one of the best ways to help with the pain and the gentle movement to gain mobility, and it really does help but I do know hubbies can be stubborn my dear heart broke his neck hang gliding but luckily we got him to hospital and he’s fine now but I am pretty strict with his activities make him take me and the dog for a walk after dinner each night LOL Good Luck and hope he’s on the mend real soon and life is back to normal. Cheers Lou ps sitting on couches are definitely not good couches don’t support backs while they feel comfortable good sitting posture is definitely a big help in healing

  13. Sherry says:

    I feel for you completely. Shortly after I myself became disabled my husband hurt himself on the job and was off for six months. He is definitely not an easy man to get along with. He also craves constant undivided attention. You do have to take time for yourself even if its just 15-30 minutes. It will do you a world of good. My crocheting also relaxes me. And as they say if Mama’s happy then everyone else is happy!

  14. Susan says:

    I can’t stress enough how important it is to find a good chiropractor. It will mean the difference between full cure and permanent disability. If you are not already a convert, look it up on the Internet. There was a lawsuit brought by the chiropractic association against the AMA for slander in the ’80s. The AMA lost, due to overwhelming evidence that injuries like your husband’s are routinely cured by chiropractic as opposed to other practices.

    My husband was home for a week with a very similar injury. I had him help me put a door on my office! LOL.

  15. Veronica Smith says:

    Thanks for all the thoughts. We actually had an MRI within 48 hours of his injury + rather serious analgesics. it all started on the 26th October (delay between me writing and it being published). He is back to work however the longest day he has had is 6 hours, off all prescription medications and in the last 24 hours has only taken 2 lots of ibuprofen for pain. His numb fingers – well, one is starting to tingle slightly.
    We didn’t see any chiropractors or physios until the MRI results. We have a family Chiropractor and physio. After seeing the MRI results the chiropractor wouldn’t touch him and sent up to the physio. He will take him back when all settles. 3 physio treatments and hourly exercises has bought him this far – just a matter of time and continued exercises now.

  16. Veronica Smith says:


    Bananas says: “rent him a hotel room, my hubbie is about to retire and I have no idea what I’m gonna do with him home”

    # love this. When the lady who was my neighbor when i was a child had impending retirement for herself and hubbie she has similar fears.
    She joined EVERY craft group imaginable, she even goes to weight watchers meetings weekly for a chat and escape from the house.
    They built him a room under the house and put a daybed / TV / DVD and hobby table there and she purchased him models to put together and paint. Very intricate ones that cam take him months. He comes up for meals >>>grins<<<

  17. Jan says:

    I love this article. It sounds like me. My hubby retired with a disability and at first it was just annoying because he stayed home all day, and wanted supper on the table when I came home after a full day of working. Now he is really ill and can’t do much of anything. He only has one hobby and that is selling his records on Ebay. But when he is really sick, he goes to a nursing home, or manages to go to the hospital. He has only been home about 2 months this entire year. I bring my crocheting with me everywhere, but I understand her problem as I can’t do anything that is too complicated as I have to keep putting it down to do or get something for him.
    He thinks he’s too ill to fetch a glass of water by himself. He is really a big baby and just wants a lot of attention. Yes, he is ill, but not that ill yet. I do have sympathy for him, but I also have a lot of smypathy for me. This is not how I expected my retirement to be, sitting in a rocker watching TV. I do travel to visit my kids, but its really depressing going by yourself.

  18. Olivia says:

    I hope your husband feels better.

  19. packrat1 says:

    Dear Veronica, I’m glad to hear that your husband is starting to feel better. I have had a number of spinal injuries and can truthfully say it was the worst pain of my life. (And I’ve had some other serious pain issues.) So the fact that he is on the mend now is great.

    I know that this type of recovery is slow, so I feel for you if he ends up spending a lot more time at home. Not sure what advice I can offer except as others have said, try to think of a hobby that will keep him occupied. Maybe spinning? To supply you with handspun, of course. 🙂

    I think your idea of grabbing some pretty yarn from stash is a good one. If it were me, I’d pull out a nice yarn that needs just sc or dc stitches to make a long scarf or rectangular shawl. The simpler the better. Make the yarn do all the work of being beautiful. Therefore no concentration needed and only enjoyment in handling the yarn itself.

    My best wishes to your husband (and to you) on his speedy recovery!

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